Friday, January 9, 2015

life lessons

'Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience."

There is nothing that happens in life by accident or chance, everything happens for a reason. When you have had a bad experience sometimes you ask, 'why me?' . Many have even went as far as questioning God after going through bad experiences in life. All experiences good or bad are necessary in life for experience is the best teacher and life is a continuous lesson. You can only learn from your experiences good or bad. I was raised to accept that in life you have to take the good with the bad. Life can't be all smooth sailing, stress free for even the life support system has an up and down pattern to show that there is still life and once the line is straight then one is declared to be dead and void of life. It is the same with experiences, if you only experience the good and never the bad then it can't be life. This is the greatest lesson that i have taken to heart that in life there is joy and pain, ups and downs, good and bad moments, tears and laughter. Life is almost bi-polar for it cannot simply just be all about the good and positives without the bad and negatives.

Just as there is right and left or right and wrong , so is life experiences. It is for this reason that one should accept when a bad thing happens in life , as it is all part of the grand scheme of things. I have been broken, depressed, stressed and at times frustrated but i have also been overjoyed, ecstatic, happy and at peace with myself. Such is life , you live and learn from the experiences. I couldn't waste my time talking about myself for i have been through a lot of experiences that it would take me forever just typing about them. Instead i am writing this piece out of the need to let out some of my thoughts about life experiences. Cherish and treasure the experiences that life teaches you for that is how character is formed. Character is built through experiences and until your learn to apply the life experiences to different circumstances and challenges in life you will remain stagnant. Life experiences do build a person in terms of personal growth. When you are faced with a difficult situation in life, if you have been through worse you can simply take the situation head on for you have the experience. The reason why some people falter in the face of difficult situation is because they refused to learn from previous experiences hence they are easily overwhelmed when faced with difficulties.

I am not and have never been a life coach for i myself am still searching for myself. However, i should not be deterred from dropping knowledge as this piece might be useful to someone in need. Equally profound is the fact that another's experiences could be a vital lesson which can make a difference in your life. I have always paid attention when someone is talking about their life experiences especially when they say 'i have been there before.' To me the expression 'i have been there' is filled with vital lessons which are worth paying attention to and tapping into. Age is wisdom and experience is the best teacher. It is critical to pay attention to someone when they tell you that, they have been there for their intention is to make you avoid the pitfalls and traps that they could not based on their experiences. They say there is nothing new under the sun, it is true, what you are going through or will go through, someone has already been through that before. That is why it is important to pay attention when one is narrating their ordeals. Nobody has the answers to life situations but one's man's experiences can make a huge difference to another. 

I am not for the deep , poignant and philosophical writings but then if it is flowing out of my head then why not let the keyboard sweat. I aspire to be an inspiration to another through my life experiences. I also believe that should be the ultimate objective of every human being. We are flawed creatures but we can only perfect ourselves or each other through sharing our experiences and learning from them. The Bible or Koran or any other religious reference books are full of life experiences from which we derive lessons about life and all its components be it social or spiritual. Many biographies have been written to share life experiences and i believe your life experiences shape you into the person that you are and will be.    

Monday, April 14, 2014

about side chics

so there i was listening to my soulful R&B Medley and Xscape's my little secret, Changing Faces' that other woman played back to back and it got me putting on my Steve Harvey cap. these are basically side chic songs and they reflect 2 types of side chics that are common across the globe.


This is the Changing Faces' can't be that other woman type of side chic. This side chic wants to be the main actress not the supporting actress . She is not content having left-overs cuz she tired of being a booty call and a go to girl when a brother needs some. She won't settle for less than the main boo role and she has ambitions to be the wifey and home maker not the after thought. This is the side chic who will give you conditions and ultimatums such as 'leave her or we are done'. Now the assertive side chic is a go getter and wants the whole 9 yards. She has pride in abundance and is prepared to walk away when a brother ain't living up to her expectations. She the type who ain't in it for the physical but she wants the emotional and total commitment. She tired of fooling around cuz she want meaning to her life and believes she deserves more than just the holidays, apartment and gifts. Basically she ain't wanna play your relief aid she wants it all. She is thoughtful and considerate as she don't wanna be a home-wrecker hence the two women can't share one man assertion. The bottom line she is a side chic still as long as she be messing around with another woman's man.


This is that Xscape type of side chic who is content being somebody's booty call for life. She don't care about the future she is in it for the now and the benefits that comes with it. She don't mind being a weekend thang or  a call girl cuz she just loves the idea of having a man and enjoys the games. She the Camilla Parker Bowles to Prince Charles when he was still married to Princess Diana. She is hopeless and ain't about the emotions, she does her thing and goes just like that, no strings attached. This type of side chic is a home-wrecker and she might even call a brother home when he with his family. She knows he ain't going to leave his wife and family for her so she plays her position.


Why be a side chic in the first place ladies?  Find your own man and stop destroying marriages, homes,families and relationships. Whether you are type A or type B it's all the same you are a side chic and that man don't love you he just using you for his own selfish ends. Woman up and have high  self-esteem. Respect yourself ladies.